by Gwenn Bonnell
©Copyright Gwenn Bonnell All
What is Surrogate Tapping? Surrogate EFT involves
one person performing EFT
(Emotional Freedom Techniques) on himself or herself for the benefit
of another person. This is especially useful for parents who want
to affect the energy systems of their children.
Personally, I’ve tapped on myself for a variety of issues for
a variety of people. The most successful has been when someone is
having an allergy attack. Just a round or two of tapping on myself
clears up their symptoms!
One of my favorite stories is when I used EFT for my brother-in-law's
allergies. Greg came over for a bike ride one morning, sneezing almost
non-stop. Once we started biking, I asked him what was going on. He
told me he was having an allergy attack - but he didn't know what
was causing the attack.
I asked him if he would let me use EFT to address his allergies.
He replied, sure, but how are you going to to that? We are riding
Once I told him I could tap on myself for his symptoms, he agreed.
So there we were, riding down the street, with me tapping on myself
saying, "Even though Greg is having an allergic reaction
to whatever he is having this allergic reaction to, I deeply and completely
love and accept him. Even though Greg is having an allergic reaction
to whatever he is having this allergic reaction to, he deeply and
completely accepts himself. Even though Greg is having an allergic
reaction to whatever he is having this allergic reaction to, I deeply
and completely love and accept myself."
While tapping on the points, I repeated, "Greg's allergic
After two rounds of Shortcut
EFT, Greg's sneezing stopped. Two blocks later, he commented on
how his nose cleared up and his eyes were no longer stinging! (Note
I did not address symptoms separately - in this case, addressing "this
allergic reaction" globally worked! However, if you find a global
statement does not give you relief, then I suggest you start addressing
each symptom separately until you get relief.)
An important thing to remember for successful surrogate tapping is
to get your emotions and energies clear before trying to tap for someone
else’s issues. If you are a parent and are upset or stressed
about the behavior of your child, using EFT to balance your emotions
will allow you to more clearly understand and treat their issues,
either with surrogate or direct tapping.
While performing surrogate EFT, the Setup Statement may take the form,
• “Even though (name of person) has this problem, I
deeply and completely accept (him/her/their name,)” or
• “Even though (name of person) has this problem, I
deeply and completely accept myself,” or
• “Even though (name of person) has this problem, (he/she/name
of person) deeply and completely accepts (himself/herself.)”
Use your best judgment, your intuition, or try all three approaches.
Bottom line is, use what works best for you!
Often using EFT to address and change your reaction to the other person’s
behavior shift their behavior as well! You can read more about this
in the article “Stop
Fights Before They Start” in the Articles section of my www.tapintoheaven.com
website. The direct link is http://www.tapintoheaven.com/2Articles/anger2.shtml
One of the questions I am asked most often about using Surrogate EFT
is, "Do I need to get permission from the other person?"
If you think about it, isn't this similar to praying, or sending good
wishes to another? Do you ask permission to pray for someone else? Are
your prayers always answered? As long as your motivation and intention
is for the other person's best and highest interest, I believe that
doing Surrogate EFT for them is fine. In the dimension of energy, they
have a choice to accept help and healing - no matter what the source
- or not.
The following is an article by Gary Craig, developer of EFT, discussing
Surrogate EFT and getting permission:
**Can we do EFT surrogately or through intention? If so, do
we need permission? ** by Gary Craig.
Many practitioners report impressive successes through applying EFT
in this manner. In my experience, the results are not as consistent
as physically tapping but the reports are well beyond mere coincidence.
The question of needing permission is an interesting one. Here is an
article I wrote to our email list on this subject.
Our web site contains a growing number of successes using EFT surrogately
and/or with intention. It would take a master of denial to read them
and not be intrigued by the anecdotal evidence. The common question
that arises about this regards asking permission to do this sort of
healing work. Shouldn't we ask the client first? If for some reason
that's not feasible, then shouldn't we ask a Higher Power for permission
to proceed? And if neither of those is done, shouldn't we at least first
recite some permission generating statement like, "I offer this
healing work only if it is in the highest and best good of the person
Good thoughts. All of them. They come from a caring place and, whether
or not you agree with the necessity for doing this, the individuals
choosing to go this route should be honored for their loving commitment.
I don't know what's right here but I've been a party to this conversation
on many occasions and thus offer below some interesting viewpoints I've
run across (as well as some of my own).
First, some people (a minority) have given me detailed procedures for
getting permission. These procedures are put forward as MUSTs for everyone
to follow. Otherwise, it seems, you will surely damage someone. When
I asked where these procedures came from, they responded that they came
from "personal understandings." When I asked for a list of
specific damages that people had encountered as a result of well intentioned
surrogate/intentional tapping (done without permission), there was not
a single incident offered. Interestingly, these varying procedures each
contained a DIFFERENT list of MUSTs.
Therein lies a weakness, I think. To me, a MUST is a MUST. Thus if list
#1 contains a true MUST then it must be on list #2 and list #3, mustn't
Otherwise, how can it be a MUST? I didn't find this method very compelling.
Other people believe that you must always ask permission of the client
unless they are unable to grant it. Examples of those who are "unable"
might be infants, animals, elderly people suffering from dementia, mentally
retarded people, people who speak other languages, etc. This way, you
can get direct permission most of the time. For those people unable
to grant permission, it can still be obtained by asking a Higher Power.
The permission asking questions I have heard go pretty much like this,
"Is it in the highest and best interest of this client for me to
do this work surrogately?" This technique is used by some practitioners
for ALL their surrogate/intentional work. They never ask direct permission
of the client. Instead they ask a Higher Power and proceed accordingly.
Many people have found this meritorious and I'm always in favor of procedures
However, the logic of this bothers my left brain a bit. Why? Because
I don't know anyone (myself included) who is able to get 100% pure Guidance.
No one, in my experience, is able to consistently (always) discern whether
a given "answer" comes from a Higher Power or is just their
own internal chatter. Yet they assume the answer is accurate and proceed
(or don't proceed) accordingly. Do they have "real permission"--or
not? Or do they have it a good percentage of the time and that is good
enough? Interestingly, those who do this report good results.
You know what's interesting about all this? I have never heard of anyone
being damaged by well intentioned surrogate/intentional work of any
kind--EFT or otherwise. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened. I know
there are stories regarding negative forms of Voodoo (hardly well intentioned,
by the way) and stuff like that and so maybe it's possible. But I know
a lot of people in the healing professions and over 1,000 clients and
I have never heard of a single case where someone was disadvantaged
in any way by well intentioned surrogate/intentional work. I have, however,
heard many reports of successes by using this "way out" procedure.
From all I can tell, these surrogate attempts either provide worthwhile
benefits or fall on their face. But they don't cause harm. It's as though
our efforts are stopped if, indeed, we are treading in areas which are
not for the client's highest good.
This is not to suggest, however, that getting permission isn't a good
idea. I get permission myself but I don't do it in a formal way. Rather,
I just get an intuitive notion regarding whether or not to proceed.
This is my form of asking for Guidance. I lean on this intuitive notion
even when I'm in a one-on-one session (and obviously have client permission).
It is continually guiding me as to which avenue to pursue with the client.
In our advanced tapes I consistently put forward the notion that effective
healing is done THROUGH US rather than BY US and the major skill involved
is to GET OURSELVES OUT OF THE WAY. I find this much more useful and
efficient than formally asking permission. True Guidance, some would
argue, is better than permission because it is much more informed than
both client and practitioner.
Another issue along these lines is the potential intrusion into one's
privacy if we try to "fix" them without their permission.
It's also a big rapport breaker if they have beliefs against this sort
of thing and discover later that you were doing this.
This brings me to a related question that has been sitting within my
psyche ever since this permission debate came to my attention (several
years ago). It's an obvious question but I've never heard anyone voice
it. Here it is.
If it is important to get permission for our well intentioned healing
work then shouldn't it be just as important, if not more so, to get
permission for our negative intentions? For our angers at others? For
our wishes that someone loses while someone else wins? For the mental
rejections we might level at others?
Yet how often do we do get permission for such thoughts? Does anyone
EVER get such permission? Or do we just have the thought/intention without
regard to the highest good of our "target?"
Have you ever stopped yourself before having an angry thought/intention
about someone and asked their permission to have it? I wonder what would
happen if each of us did this. My guess is that we would have a lot
fewer angry thoughts and a bit more peace in this world.
So where do we land with all this? Have we come up with a conclusion
about asking permission?
I think the consensus is that it's a good idea. However, how it should
be done--and when--and under what circumstances is up to debate or personal
I wish you Peace (which, by the way, is intentional and without your
Gwenn Bonnell is an international EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
and Energy Medicine practitioner and trainer and the author of an amazing
online audio tutorial that will teach you the ins-and-outs of EFT in
less than an hour...
"The Quick Start Tapping Guide" reveals the secrets you need to know to
begin using EFT effectively in minutes... without spending hours watching
videos or reading thick manuals
TOOLS to transform your health, wealth and well being? Finally!
Stop sabotaging your life and begin living the life you really want!
© Gwenn Bonnell, All Rights Reserved
The information in this article is for educational purposes only. This
technique is not intended as a substitute for the medical recommendations
of physicians or other healthcare providers. Rather, it is intended
to offer information to help the reader cooperate with physicians and
health professionals in a mutual quest for optimum well-being.